Hello everyone,
I hope you are well. As you most of you know, I have been back in the US for about 3 months and half months now. My life has totally changed recently. I moved from Brazil to Virginia for a short time then I was in Alabama for about 3 weeks and finally I moved to Seminary. It has been a whirlwind. I have felt that I have been on the 'move' since I arrived back in the US. It has also been a roller coaster of emotions. I had truly forgotten how independent my life was prior to going to Brazil. My reentry into the US has had its ups and downs. I do realize that I have been going through reverse culture shock. For instance, I was robbed the first 24 hours of being back in the US.
For one of my assignments in seminary, I had to read the book by David Platt called Radical. He challenges the reader to go beyond our American Dream culture and live totally surrendered and sacrifically to Him. We must be sharing the gospel no matter the cost because seeing people saved are for His glory alone. (So that we may praise Him forever)
Okay...Even though I am a missionary and a Christian ...I am still a sinful human who has been saved by his grace and mercy. I think I have had to be 'hit' in the head by God recently. He just told me to "STOP."
What did He want me to STOP?
1. Stop thinking about the past and move forward and press on toward the goal
2.Stop thinking about the things of the world that have no joy
3. Stop thinking how to please others but please Me in all you do
4. Stop worrying about things you can't change
5. Stop worrying about the future
6. Stop worrying about how you are going to make in Seminary (I felt a little inadequate)
7. Stop worrying about my provision
For the last few months, my focus was all wrong. It was on me and my immediate circumstances! I repented today and my focus has changed for His kingdom.
Instead what I have STARTED, what I AM DOING, OR what I HAVE DONE:
1. Praising Him for His Salvation (I am truly not worthy but thankful.)
2. Praising Him for my ministry there and here
3. Looking forward to what He wants me to do now and to be faithful every day
4. Surrendered my future for whatever it holds
5. Praying for the nations and the lost with a renewed commitment
6. Entrusting and sacrifically giving my all for His kingdom
7. Recognizing I have a lot to learn and I can't do it without Him
8. Seeing how God has continually and continually provided for me..duh...I needed that reminder
9. sharing the gospel with earnest desire and sacrifice
10. praying for a filling of the Spirit
11. praying for His Word to speak in a convicting, in a powerful, and in a transforming way
My pastor today spoke on Romans 12:1-2: Okay, I was about ready to burst into tears because I realized how distant from the Lord I had been. (conforming to the world) Yet, he had been there the whole time. Time for the transformation and renewal of the mind!
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Here is a quote from J. Hudson Taylor. It sums up my feelings.
"On Sunday, June 29th, 1865, unable to bear the sight of a congregation of a thousand or more Christian people rejoicing in their own security, while millions were perishing for lack of knowledge. I wandered out on the sands alone, in great spiritual agony: and there the Lord conquered my unbelief, and I surrendered myself to God for this service. I told Him that all the responsiblity as to issues and consequences must rest with Him; that as His servant, it was mine to obey and follow Him--His, to direct, to care for, and to guide me and those who might labour with me. Need I say that peace at once flowed into my burdened heart? There and then I asked Him for twenty-four-fellow workers, two for each of eleven inland provinces which were without a missionary, and two for Mongolia...I returned home with heart enjoying rest such as it had been a stranger for months....I had previously prayed, and asked prayer, that workers might be raised up for the eleven then occupied provinces, and thrust forth and provided for, but had not surrendered myself to be their leader."
He is transforming my whole being into His likeness. I give Him my all and I have rest and joy knowing that He is beside me every day. I am trusting Him one day at a time and for all eternity. I will serve him and (when I am faithless); He is faithful! I surrender to Him no matter cost because His gospel truly is about Him and His glory.
May the Nations know Him,
Nova
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